[ he ends the conversation there. now that aki will be here in any minute, perhaps it would be wise to pull himself together.
denji couldn't understand how the fuck that happened, how he managed to get back home for a while and then wake up to find himself back in this city. despite logic, and as much denji wished it wasn't, he knew it was real. it wasn't some nightmare he could brush off, each and every single event did happen and he never felt so helpless in his entire life. it's happening all over again, isn't it? he is losing what little he had built in this miserable life, the home he worked so hard to protect, his family— everything is up in flames. it's gone.
okay, breathe. breathe even if it hurts, even if the air felt like toxic in his lungs; still feeling a bit woozy from being drugged for an entire week. it was hard to stand up and keep his balance, but nearly impossible for him to hold still either.
[ If Denji is calling on him, Aki can only imagine it's something important.
It isn't as if the two of them have been particularly distant with one another since he arrived; Denji came with him to his surgery, they've probably spent more nights close to each other, sharing a room, than they have apart, but... He recognises there's something that he doesn't get, some strangeness to the other man that he can't quite wrap his mind around. Denji is a man grown now, Aki can see it, and it makes him a little angry.
How much has he missed? What has happened to Denji in the time he's forgotten, or has been taken from him? It makes him want to break something.
He gets to Denji's room in no time at all, not even bothering to knock, just brushing his knuckles over the frame before he walks in. ]
[ by the time aki made it, denji would be seen sitting on the edge of the bed, lifting his head from where it was buried between his hands. he — didn't look okay. well, denji was never okay, but it was different right now. the wound is fresh, and the adrenaline is throbbing in his veins, heart beating like he's been running for his life while his body is frozen still.
he pushed himself out of the bed, struggling a bit, but he managed to find his balance. a few shaky steps brought him closer, he kept it together until he finally understood why he called aki, why he wanted him here, and what his subconscious mind had planned the entire time. it felt like he had no control over himself and maybe that's okay— because he didn't know what to fucking do with himself other than wrap his arms around the other's shoulders and pull him into a tight embrace.
with a heavy exhale, he squeezed his eyes shut and held still; quiet. ]
[ Aki isn’t sure what he was expecting to happen, but he’s not going to turn Denji away or let him slip out of his grasp. His hands wrap around the other man - and that’s how it is, because Denji has grown into a man and he’s not sure how to handle that - and he draws him close against his chest. Gentle hands run along his back, stroke down his spine gently, trying to do whatever he can to comfort him.
He doesn’t know what’s going on, doesn’t have any idea what was going on, but he’s not going to let Denji suffer this alone. The idea of this man, someone he loves so desperately, suffering alone… Even if he can’t say it, isn’t something he can tolerate. Aki doesn’t want Denji to hurt, but he can’t do anything more than this.
One hand lifting, he strokes his fingers through Denji’s hair. ]
[ he breathed out a heavy exhale, his breath stutter in distress, fingers gripping hard into whatever they could grasp and it happened to be aki's jacket. truth is, he was angry. it's anger more than anything else. he wanted to let go and feel that freedom again, pull the cord, and mutilate every living, breathing creature in sight. he wanted to feast on their flesh again, but instead, he'd been left with all those emotions with no outlet to let it all out— and he fucking hates it.
he's just hurting and hurting and it's endless.
however, in contrast to all that built-up aggression, aki's touch was gentle on his body. the other man's breathing is more steady and calm against his chest. is he calm? no, but he didn't feel like he wanted to paint this entire room in red anymore. he was quiet for a while, just holding onto the other. eventually, he broke the silence. ]
[ There's something that feels a little dangerous about this, the way that Denji clings to him - as if afraid one of them might break if he doesn't hold on. He has already made the decision not to push, to make Denji tell him anything, and he's going to keep that promise to himself - because he wants Denji to feel comfortable enough to come to him. This is enough for him, and he lets himself hold on to Denji with all his softness.
One hand keeps stroking through Denji's hair, gentle and careful, holding him close. It doesn't matter to him, whatever happened - Aki can handle it. He can bear the weight of whatever pain Denji is suffering, because that's what he has chosen to do.
Leaning down, he nods, squeezing Denji again before he breathes out softly. ]
Sure. You still have the bed, so it'll be fine.
[ Leaning down, he touches his forehead to Denji's, careful. ]
[ okay, no questioned asked, no 'what happened?' — good. denji can work with that. it made it less overwhelming knowing he didn't need to explain himself or figure out whatever the hell was going on in his head, all he was asking was to feel something physical— something that would keep his feet on the ground. and aki is doing just fine. denji nods, lips parted and his breathing slows down, easing in— more quiet now. he is somewhat feverish which is something aki would feel with the touch of their foreheads.
he opened his eyes, barely, and kept his gaze low. his voice is a bit gruff, akin to a whisper. ] ... Okay. [ he's holding onto the other now for a different reason, and he shifts a bit on his feet. the sedatives are still in his system, making it hard for him to move around. ] Help me get changed ...
[ Aki can't help the gentle urge to lift a hand and touch it to Denji's forehead; warm, but not to the point where he needs to worry too much. He is a little on edge all the same, still trying to fill in the blanks in his own mind, as if he can put impossibly formed puzzle pieces together and unravel this mystery. The urge to ask Makima about it is there, but he made a promise: he won't talk to her.
He's not going to hurt Denji if he can help it.
Leading the other man over to the bed, he gets him sat down before he goes to find clothes for him to change into. The task of changing Denji isn't a difficult one - Aki has dealt with drunk people who needed changing before, and it's easier than that - but he's gentle and cautious with Denji all the same, treating him with all the tenderness he can muster. He didn't think he had much of that left. ]
[ of course aki will do it. of course he will carry the burden of taking care of another mess because he's that type of person; stupidly kind. even when he was kicking his ass in the alley, he did it because he didn't want denji to end up killing himself fighting devils, scare him off so he could have a normal life instead. it's tiring, but that's how aki will always be, even right now— he's helping him without any reserves. he settles on the bed with his shirt off, watching the other as he looks through the closet for a fresh set of clothes.
eventually, it got too much, too heavy, too draining ... ] ... I killed you.
[ he will let that sink in, wait for aki to maybe take a seat, embrace himself for the full story, and denji tells him everything. he will just unload it on him at once, until the very last second. there are new faces in his life, new enemies, and new failures. public safety has lost its pride, 350,000 civilians were killed for a bigger plan, the church, the death devil is coming and denji was supposed to deal with it. makima's end, nayuta's birth, his growing lust to hurt others — the loss of all the pets, his home, and aki/power's personal items that he kept as a memory; all burned in flames.
denji looked vulnerable and frail ... but no tears. ]
You'll still look out for me. You're that kind. It makes you an easy prey to devils ... and I won't be able to protect you anymore.
[ There's no hesitation in Aki, of course there isn't - why would there be when it comes to Denji? This is one of the most important people in the world to him, and if this man asked him to do something... He might not even question it. He might not even second guess it. The weight of the world seems to be pressing on Denji's shoulders, though, and he feels an edge of uncertainty as he stops, holding onto a new shirt and turning his gaze back to the younger man.
Oh.
Well, it all makes a lot more sense now.
His arms drop to his side, going a little limp, and he sighs, one free hand - the metallic one - coming to rub at the frown between his eyes. If it happens to end up rubbing at the one where the Future Devil chose to rest, he can't be blamed for that. Stepping over, he puts the shirt down beside Denji and sits next to him on the bed, just... Listening. Taking it all in... And then his hand lifts up, stroking through Denji's hair as he tugs him close, drawing him against his body for another awkward embrace, one-armed this time.
So much guilt and pain between them... ]
So that's why you wanted me to stay away from Makima-san. I was starting to suspect something like that.
[ Turning, he rests his forehead against Denji's head as he breathes out, then in, and tries to find some words. ]
I already knew you were going to kill me, Denji. The Future Devil showed me it, because that's how that stupid curse worked. It wanted me to suffer, because that was the kind of future it liked best. I'm sorry that I never told you, but I really thought that there was something I could do about it before it happened.
[ His fingers stroke gently, and... Is he crying? It feels like he might be, the prickle of them on his face before he can hold them back. Huh. ]
I don't need you to protect me. I might like it, but I don't need it. I want you to protect yourself first. If we come up against something that's too much for me, I'll take a step back.
[ His hand reaches out and, if Denji will let him, he'll link their fingers. ]
I'm sorry for everything that happened to you, Denji. I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you. I hope you can forgive me for leaving you alone.
[ If he had never gone to Makima... Would things have been different? It's hard not to blame himself. ]
[ god, where to begin? he was unsure how aki would handle everything he threw his way but it certainly wasn't this. denji watched him with fearful eyes, gaze following the other's hand until it settled on his head — it was just one of those moments where he knew something bad was about to happen, he could feel it in his guts.
'I already knew you were going to kill me'. okay, yeah— how the fuck is he supposed to take that? aside from the obvious way, which is him wondering if they could've prevented it all. maybe if he knew, they could've helped each other to stop it, and none of this would've happened, but denji can only assume the future devil wasn't very specific on 'how' or 'why'. still. still ...
slowly, he lowered his head and closed his eyes. he then took in a sharp inhale— aki is crying, isn't he? he said he was sorry, even when denji didn't. everything felt too fucked up to make sense of, with his emotions all over the place, but he knew pointing fingers and talking about shit they can't change is not the answer either. ]
... I'm sorry, too.
[ tired, quiet— he returns the gestures, curling his fingers around aki's. there is one thing he didn't share with him and it's his deal with makima here. it will stay that way. ]
I don't know how long we have here. Eventually, I will have to go back, right? Help me get better ...
[ It's not okay, and he's not going to say anything like that, because it would just be upsetting for Denji to hear. It makes sense now, why he was so intense about everything, why he had been so determined, why he had been... The way that he was. Aki can understand it now, even if it makes his heart feel a little bit heavy. It's too much for any single person to bear, and yet Denji is being forced to handle it.
Sinking into him, he breathes out softly, closing his eyes, squeezing. He doesn't want to let go, needing this himself.
His fingers keep stroking, gentle and soft, almost clinging to him. ]
I'll do what I can, Denji, for as long as they let me stay here. I'll never leave, not if I'm given the choice.
[ Why would he go back? He's happier here, isn't he? Even if Makima-san is here... ]
(Some time in the morning on May 5th... a white hummingbird drone will peck at his door. Whenever he opens it, the bird will drop off a small envelope. There's a weight to it letting Aki know there's something inside.
Opening the envelope will reveal a small keychain. Its design is simple but it's obvious by the color and the crane crest on the scabbard what it's supposed to be. Opening the envelope will also undo the origami that put it together in the first place but Aki will also find a perfectly handwritten message. The letters are neat, the lines are thin, and it definitely has a sort of "old-timey" feel to it,)
Have fun. See you later.
(Aki can't complain now... he has his own pocket Tsurumaru Kuninaga. He can see him whenever............. get it.)
You know, I've been in a lot of battles. And I commanded a bunch of them too. Not many people can seriously catch me off guard. But he did it really easily.
(Is he going to explain.)
Some day I may have to choose between you or Denji-kun. No matter what happens, remember how I feel, okay?
Summer is fun. I love the festivals and the music. I also really like the cherry blossoms in the spring, too. But lately, I've been looking forward to autumn more and more.
(This is some truly some indirect poetic Heian talk. Where everything has a second meaning. There's another conversation beneath this one.)
(Just give it a second to kick in because Tsurumaru has definitely activated his ring now. From him, Aki might be able to read the same, familiar feelings of warmth and affection that comes whenever he thinks about him. There's that ever-constant but low sense of grief in the background that has been hanging around more this month but the larger, predominant feeling is definitely love and happiness. )
Aki would activate his own in return, but he doesn’t want to drown out these warm, tender feelings with the grief and sadness that’s burrowed inside him since waking up here again. There’s the same love too, of course, and he fosters it with all that he has.
(GIVE HIM SOME TIME... it won't take him long to find Aki. And Aki will probably notice because the feelings seem to grow stronger from proximity or something. When he finds him........
[ Aki is surprised, but he also has good reflexes, so it doesn't take that much for him to open his arms and lift Tsurumaru into them, spinning him a little with a quiet laugh. ]
(Oh. He loves these little moments when Aki acts boldly out in the open. It makes his heart skip a beat and his body feel all weak as he braces himself against the wall and tilts his head to kiss him in turn. Careful not to be too excited in case anyone walks by but still enjoying their time alone,)
Mhm.
(He hums into him, proud and pleased to be praised. He even gives Aki a little tug closer, nipping gently at his lip, offering a little more in turn before pulling away, still close so their noses brush together,)
[ He won't go too far, not when anyone could turn the corner of the corridor and see the two of them together like this, but he lets himself enjoy it all the same. It's too easy to lean in and kiss Tsurumaru properly now, to feel the gentle scrape of teeth against his lip, to groan softly.
He has to force himself to be good, at least for now. ]
Thank you.
[ Another year older. Not that it matters.
Sighing, he steps back and lets Tsuru slide down. ]
(If anything, he sounds excited? Opening the pack, he takes one stick out... and holds it between his teeth. Fangs still sharp, he smiles playfully at Aki and raises his chin, the other end of the stick pointing at him. It's the pocky game. He wants to play.)
(Another bite, this one bringing up close to Aki's face, noses touching. The next one will surely be the last one unless Aki wants to be cheeky about it. He doesn't really know what to expect with him sometimes which makes him smile, waiting to see what his next move will be. )
[ Aki thinks about teasing him, thinks about how it might be to bully him just a little, but he can't resist; he leans in to finish the sweet treat, kissing Tsurumaru instead, eyes flickering closed. ]
(To be honest, he isn't sure if this means he's lost or won by the rules. It doesn't really matter in the end when he still feels like a winner. He can't help but giggle, amused by how silly all of this is and he smiles against him as he kisses him soft and sweet. It's short but he thinks about how many sticks are left in the box and how many more times they could play and really, why rush?
His ring, still on, may feel light, playful... like an exciting new crush, like falling in love again. He's still so charmed even after all of these months and when he pulls away, he's quick to lean in and whisper into Aki's ear,)
Oh no.
(These snacks were dangerous, right? Aki had said so himself. There were plenty of reports to support it. There was nothing about this particular type but why not have some fun,)
I think I want to kiss you again. (It's clear that that he's teasing,) Maybe these are dangerous.
[ Does it matter who wins or loses when they both get to enjoy themselves like this? Flushed, Aki leans back to look at Tsurumaru, their noses bruising and his mouth tasting like sweetness - and not just from the candy. He wants to steal more of them, to take more, but he has restraint enough to stop himself from giving into the urge too swiftly. ]
I did try to warn you.
[ A little kiss to Tsuru's nose, and then Aki is reaching for his hands. ]
(And he'd chosen not to listen. Of course, he'd also known this particular box was also harmless. It's all fun and games right now and he laces his fingers with Aki, giving his hand a squeeze as he slides over to be by his side.
He's an old soul but right now, one wouldn't know it. Leaning against him, giggling as he tugs him along towards his room-- to their room. Compared to before where they'd hidden away and stayed quiet while exchanging kisses, he doesn't mind as much if others see him right now. It's no secret that they're a pair, just like it isn't a secret that Aki spends more time in the Everlight wing than his own.)
When Denji-kun is free, we'll show you what we got.
(It's their combined surprise for him. A little lower, only for him to hear,)
But I can give you a small surprise first. (And he leans into him, not caring if they stumble just a little down the hallway,) What do you think it is? I'll let you have one guess.
[ Aki goes with him down the hall, not thinking too much about the strangeness of it all. There are horrors, he thinks, not too far away, around the corner and threatening them all, but there's happiness to be found here for the moment.
Together, he and Tsurumaru can be happy.
Resisting the urge to laugh, he huffs a little, taking Tsuru's hand in his own and squeezing gently. ]
A surprise? [ He hums softly. ] Is it something sweet?
If everything happens exactly as one expects, it's boring.
(He has to switch it up. When they get to their room, the door slides open and he slips off and away to go over to his desk. It looks like he's been shopping recently. There are some small shopping bags and one is even tucked away, hidden under the desk for now but still easy to see. He trusts Aki to not go looking. He wouldn't ruin a surprise like that.)
Sit down.
(He says as he rummages through one of the bags and takes out a gift-wrapped box. He'll come over and sit next to Aki before offering it out to him.)
[ Aki goes and sits down on the bed, doing as he's told, leaning back a little and watching with a raised brow and a certain edge of fondness. It feels warm, it feels nice, being here with Tsurumaru, and all he wants to do is wrap around him and not let go.
He can be patient, though.
Eyes widening at the present, he takes it carefully, fingers brushing over the wrapping. ]
(A playful, gentle correction. He likes Aki, even if he's boring at times. He doesn't mind if it's a little boring if he's with him.)
I went shopping with Denji-kun. We got something from both of us and something from each of us.
(A bottle of cologne that Denji will surely sneak samples from and then there's the spa ticket that Denji got. But those are both for later. Right now, there's this box for Aki and if he opens it...
It's just a mug. Dark blue and silver in color with a little bit of weight to it. The box reads that it's a sleek and light design for a mug that will keep drinks at the desired temperature of the user. Hot drinks will never go cold and even cold drinks will never melt. It supposedly links with their implants and it promises to be easy to use. No cords, no extra extensions, no need for charging. It just works. The future is filled with these little knick-knacks for daily use. )
It's getting colder these days; especially in the mornings.
(It seemed like a good gift. A practical one. One that could be useful for Aki.)
[ Aki opens the gift and he's... Struck by the simplicity of it, his fingers reaching out to stroke over the shape of it, the familiarity of a good vessel for his coffee.
He doesn't have a lot of vices, not really. There aren't a lot of things that get Aki in particular, but a good cup of coffee is one of them. He had a proper press back in his apartment, had a set-up for a good cup in the morning as he had his first smoke of the day and read the newspaper, keeping up to date with the movements of devils (and one in particular).
It's such a simple gift. Other people might find it insulting, to be given something so... Boring.
But for Aki, it's perfect.
Leaning in, unable to stop himself, he presses his mouth against Tsurumaru's and kisses him, long, deep, arm around him, squeezing him closer, breathless with his affection. ]
(There's that excited type of nervousness that comes from giving gifts. He watches Aki carefully, trying to see what he thinks of the gift. It isn't a bad one. He knows it isn't. In fact, he's confident that it's a good gift but would it be one that he likes? Is it the best one he could have gotten? He's always been someone that looks forward to people's reactions and right now is no different.
How would he smile? What would he say? How would he look at him when he looks back up? He wants to see it all and with his ring still on, Aki can probably feel the anticipation... just like he can feel that spike in emotion when Aki takes him. He's surprised, he's excited, and in a second, he's relaxed, he's happy, he's humming pleasantly, tasting, feeling, giving, and impatiently wanting more and more.
For a second he's proud, so incredibly pleased with his choice in gift but it's more than that. He's happy with him. Aki chose him. He chose Aki. They chose this and he couldn't be happier. He feels warm, he feels content, and when they finally pull away, he takes his breath and smiles at Aki, eyes bright, teeth a little sharp...)
Wait...
(Wait a moment. Just a second. As he pulls his legs up onto the bed to crawl to the end, to reach over towards his desk and rummage for something small and shiney. When he comes back, he sits cross legged in front of Aki and holds up a small container, it's clear plastic covering revealing a shade of red. Considering he'd once set Aki a picture of himself wearing a different shade, it's obvious that it's a lip tint.)
What do you think? (He holds it up to his face, pale and fair against a splash of bright, deep red, ) Denji-kun ran away when I asked.
(Took one look at him in the store and ran off, refusing to answer. While he waits for an answer, he twists the cap and brushes it across his lips. Bright and striking, like the crown of a white crane. He smiles.)
[ There's something about gift giving that gets to Aki; he's not sure how good he is at it himself, has never had to go out of his way to actually try and give anyone a decent gift. He had barely done anything decent for Denji's birthday, and he has no idea what he would be able to do for any kind of celebration for Tsurumaru, but he hopes that he could do something good.
He hopes that he could do something like this.
It's simple, it's easy, and it means so much. It shows how much attention Tsurumaru has paid to him, that even something as simple as his morning habits had been noted and made to be recognised. Carefully, he places the mug to one side and reaches to draw his lover closer, to tug him onto his lap as much as he can, to hold him tenderly, sweetly, softly. ]
Denji is an idiot, sometimes.
[ Aki kisses him again, soft and gentle, before he touches their foreheads together and closes his eyes.
His birthday had been a nightmare for the last decade, but here, now... It feels okay. ]
(He settles on him comfortably, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and leans in. Before he can say anything, he feels his mouth against his and he's more than happy to return it. Soft, slow, just enjoying feeling each other, how sweet he tastes, and he presses his forehead against Aki's, sneaking in one more kiss. )
I told you, he's seriously surprising.
(Denji, that is. He's sharper than he or anyone really gives him credit for when it comes to certain matters.
But he shifts forward, gently pushing Aki back onto the bed and supporting himself on top.)
We have a little time. (He isn't sure how much they have until they have to busy themselves with other things but he knows they have some time right now. Leaning in to bury his face against his neck, press light kisses along the side, leaving a visible trail in his wake, ) Relax.
(Reaching to take his hand, locking their fingers together,,)
It's your birthday.
(A day for celebrating Aki. A day for celebrating his life. A day for celebrating being alive.)
[ It's comfortable, easy for him to lean in, to curl close and press himself into the familiar shape of Tsurumaru's body. It's safe and settled here, and he breathes out a little as he turns his head, nuzzling in just a little bit. ]
That's a good thing, isn't it?
[ It's his birthday, that's true enough, and Aki leans back, lets himself be guided, nudged, one way and then the other, eyes blinking warmly up at the other man, his lips curled into a small smile. ]
[ it's actually pretty easy to find a gift for aki; ishmael knows at least two smokers on the bus back home, so all she had to do is lock in on what ryoshu or gregor would've liked if they were here. particularly ryoshu -- that woman sure can 420blazeit.
and thus, when the date rolls on over to christmas day, a small box will appear in aki's doorstep. inside is a rather fancy cigarette brand.
[ he wanted to go for a gag gift, similaire to the one he got for tsurumaru, but-
aki will find his gift waiting for him by the door. the package was rectangular, its edges crisp, its surface smooth— revealing just enough to suggest the shape of the frame beneath the wrapping. at first sight, it seems it came without a picture, but once he lifts it up, the edges shift subtly, lines emerging and retreating in delicate patterns, like a living blueprint. a picture that could move and breathe, adapting itself to its surroundings. it's power and denji and of course aki - all of them together, enjoying a late dinner in their old apartment. the animation is fluid, their features are on point. it's them. together again.
the card reads: I know we've grown in here, made friends and connections, started dating some hotties, maybe we made a new family for ourselves too. But you two will always be my first family. merry xmas - denji. ]
(On May 13th, Aki will suddenly feel a spike of adrenaline through his tracking ring. It seems like Tsurumaru was especially surprised by something recently...
However, Aki will then feel nothing.
Tsurumaru will not respond to his messages and he will not return to him that day.)
( He should insist on meeting up first, but Vash also knows that waiting delays things. So. )
It's Tsurumaru. We were delivering flowers and then all of a sudden there was a rift. It swallowed him up, and I can't find him. I'm looking, Aki. I'm trying to. But I know he's your partner, right? And I didn't know who else to tell.
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un: pochita (text)
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denji couldn't understand how the fuck that happened, how he managed to get back home for a while and then wake up to find himself back in this city. despite logic, and as much denji wished it wasn't, he knew it was real. it wasn't some nightmare he could brush off, each and every single event did happen and he never felt so helpless in his entire life. it's happening all over again, isn't it? he is losing what little he had built in this miserable life, the home he worked so hard to protect, his family— everything is up in flames. it's gone.
okay, breathe. breathe even if it hurts, even if the air felt like toxic in his lungs; still feeling a bit woozy from being drugged for an entire week. it was hard to stand up and keep his balance, but nearly impossible for him to hold still either.
it's okay ... aki is coming. ]
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It isn't as if the two of them have been particularly distant with one another since he arrived; Denji came with him to his surgery, they've probably spent more nights close to each other, sharing a room, than they have apart, but... He recognises there's something that he doesn't get, some strangeness to the other man that he can't quite wrap his mind around. Denji is a man grown now, Aki can see it, and it makes him a little angry.
How much has he missed? What has happened to Denji in the time he's forgotten, or has been taken from him? It makes him want to break something.
He gets to Denji's room in no time at all, not even bothering to knock, just brushing his knuckles over the frame before he walks in. ]
Hey.
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he pushed himself out of the bed, struggling a bit, but he managed to find his balance. a few shaky steps brought him closer, he kept it together until he finally understood why he called aki, why he wanted him here, and what his subconscious mind had planned the entire time. it felt like he had no control over himself and maybe that's okay— because he didn't know what to fucking do with himself other than wrap his arms around the other's shoulders and pull him into a tight embrace.
with a heavy exhale, he squeezed his eyes shut and held still; quiet. ]
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He doesn’t know what’s going on, doesn’t have any idea what was going on, but he’s not going to let Denji suffer this alone. The idea of this man, someone he loves so desperately, suffering alone… Even if he can’t say it, isn’t something he can tolerate. Aki doesn’t want Denji to hurt, but he can’t do anything more than this.
One hand lifting, he strokes his fingers through Denji’s hair. ]
I’m here. I’m here with you, Denji.
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he's just hurting and hurting and it's endless.
however, in contrast to all that built-up aggression, aki's touch was gentle on his body. the other man's breathing is more steady and calm against his chest. is he calm? no, but he didn't feel like he wanted to paint this entire room in red anymore. he was quiet for a while, just holding onto the other. eventually, he broke the silence. ]
Stay here tonight ...
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One hand keeps stroking through Denji's hair, gentle and careful, holding him close. It doesn't matter to him, whatever happened - Aki can handle it. He can bear the weight of whatever pain Denji is suffering, because that's what he has chosen to do.
Leaning down, he nods, squeezing Denji again before he breathes out softly. ]
Sure. You still have the bed, so it'll be fine.
[ Leaning down, he touches his forehead to Denji's, careful. ]
I'll stay until you're sick of me.
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he opened his eyes, barely, and kept his gaze low. his voice is a bit gruff, akin to a whisper. ] ... Okay. [ he's holding onto the other now for a different reason, and he shifts a bit on his feet. the sedatives are still in his system, making it hard for him to move around. ] Help me get changed ...
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[ Aki can't help the gentle urge to lift a hand and touch it to Denji's forehead; warm, but not to the point where he needs to worry too much. He is a little on edge all the same, still trying to fill in the blanks in his own mind, as if he can put impossibly formed puzzle pieces together and unravel this mystery. The urge to ask Makima about it is there, but he made a promise: he won't talk to her.
He's not going to hurt Denji if he can help it.
Leading the other man over to the bed, he gets him sat down before he goes to find clothes for him to change into. The task of changing Denji isn't a difficult one - Aki has dealt with drunk people who needed changing before, and it's easier than that - but he's gentle and cautious with Denji all the same, treating him with all the tenderness he can muster. He didn't think he had much of that left. ]
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eventually, it got too much, too heavy, too draining ... ] ... I killed you.
[ he will let that sink in, wait for aki to maybe take a seat, embrace himself for the full story, and denji tells him everything. he will just unload it on him at once, until the very last second. there are new faces in his life, new enemies, and new failures. public safety has lost its pride, 350,000 civilians were killed for a bigger plan, the church, the death devil is coming and denji was supposed to deal with it. makima's end, nayuta's birth, his growing lust to hurt others — the loss of all the pets, his home, and aki/power's personal items that he kept as a memory; all burned in flames.
denji looked vulnerable and frail ... but no tears. ]
You'll still look out for me. You're that kind. It makes you an easy prey to devils ... and I won't be able to protect you anymore.
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Oh.
Well, it all makes a lot more sense now.
His arms drop to his side, going a little limp, and he sighs, one free hand - the metallic one - coming to rub at the frown between his eyes. If it happens to end up rubbing at the one where the Future Devil chose to rest, he can't be blamed for that. Stepping over, he puts the shirt down beside Denji and sits next to him on the bed, just... Listening. Taking it all in... And then his hand lifts up, stroking through Denji's hair as he tugs him close, drawing him against his body for another awkward embrace, one-armed this time.
So much guilt and pain between them... ]
So that's why you wanted me to stay away from Makima-san. I was starting to suspect something like that.
[ Turning, he rests his forehead against Denji's head as he breathes out, then in, and tries to find some words. ]
I already knew you were going to kill me, Denji. The Future Devil showed me it, because that's how that stupid curse worked. It wanted me to suffer, because that was the kind of future it liked best. I'm sorry that I never told you, but I really thought that there was something I could do about it before it happened.
[ His fingers stroke gently, and... Is he crying? It feels like he might be, the prickle of them on his face before he can hold them back. Huh. ]
I don't need you to protect me. I might like it, but I don't need it. I want you to protect yourself first. If we come up against something that's too much for me, I'll take a step back.
[ His hand reaches out and, if Denji will let him, he'll link their fingers. ]
I'm sorry for everything that happened to you, Denji. I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you. I hope you can forgive me for leaving you alone.
[ If he had never gone to Makima... Would things have been different? It's hard not to blame himself. ]
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'I already knew you were going to kill me'. okay, yeah— how the fuck is he supposed to take that? aside from the obvious way, which is him wondering if they could've prevented it all. maybe if he knew, they could've helped each other to stop it, and none of this would've happened, but denji can only assume the future devil wasn't very specific on 'how' or 'why'. still. still ...
slowly, he lowered his head and closed his eyes. he then took in a sharp inhale— aki is crying, isn't he? he said he was sorry, even when denji didn't. everything felt too fucked up to make sense of, with his emotions all over the place, but he knew pointing fingers and talking about shit they can't change is not the answer either. ]
... I'm sorry, too.
[ tired, quiet— he returns the gestures, curling his fingers around aki's. there is one thing he didn't share with him and it's his deal with makima here. it will stay that way. ]
I don't know how long we have here. Eventually, I will have to go back, right? Help me get better ...
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[ It's not okay, and he's not going to say anything like that, because it would just be upsetting for Denji to hear. It makes sense now, why he was so intense about everything, why he had been so determined, why he had been... The way that he was. Aki can understand it now, even if it makes his heart feel a little bit heavy. It's too much for any single person to bear, and yet Denji is being forced to handle it.
Sinking into him, he breathes out softly, closing his eyes, squeezing. He doesn't want to let go, needing this himself.
His fingers keep stroking, gentle and soft, almost clinging to him. ]
I'll do what I can, Denji, for as long as they let me stay here. I'll never leave, not if I'm given the choice.
[ Why would he go back? He's happier here, isn't he? Even if Makima-san is here... ]
I'll stay with you.
@shiro
(what is this code)
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November.
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(And then SHIRO IS TYPING... and it stops... and resumes.... and stops again until, after about a solid minute: )
Time is running out.
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I'll remember this.
(He's committing this to his memory.)
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(A second later,)
Malkuth-chan said I can have one in October.
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1/3
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Don't say cute things so suddenly.
(HE WASN'T READY.)
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Did you pick a day in October?
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So any day will be fine.
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What about Denji-kun? When is his?
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It's [ insert date here when Mina decides ]. But don't mention it to him for now.
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Do you have something planned for him?
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He sees? Maybe? But if there's something there, maybe Denji should be the one to share it so he's happy to change the subject,)
Children's Day is coming up.
(5 May.)
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But you should spend the day with him. Take him to his favorite place to eat.
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I'll take him out.
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If I catch you, I'll be sure to leave.
(Just like....... the crane wife.)
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(He's not allowing it!!!!)
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You'll have Denji-kun.
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1/2
He won't reply right away. In fact, he'll just leave Aki on read for awhile!!!!)
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I'll take care of that.
(He has an idea...............)
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delivery
Opening the envelope will reveal a small keychain. Its design is simple but it's obvious by the color and the crane crest on the scabbard what it's supposed to be. Opening the envelope will also undo the origami that put it together in the first place but Aki will also find a perfectly handwritten message. The letters are neat, the lines are thin, and it definitely has a sort of "old-timey" feel to it,)
Have fun.
See you later.
(Aki can't complain now... he has his own pocket Tsurumaru Kuninaga. He can see him whenever............. get it.)
text
@turtleneck
Do you get many parties around here?
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Got to look nice when we're not fighting
Don't you think?
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Things that are too easy are boring
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I am a wonderful mentor
[ He is not. ]
Wow
You're right
I should broaden my interests.
What is interesting for you?
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[ Okay, weirdo, what the heck ]
I enjoy reading, cooking, housework and sword fighting.
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They are so adorable
And useful.
Swordfighting?
How good are you?
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I'm good.
[ Not even arrogance. Just truth. ]
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me~
I want someone strong to practice with! Otherwise I'll get lazy
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I want to warm up!
@shiro
Aki-kun.
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Yes, Tsuru?
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Denji-kun is seriously surprising.
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And I commanded a bunch of them too.
Not many people can seriously catch me off guard.
But he did it really easily.
(Is he going to explain.)
Some day I may have to choose between you or Denji-kun.
No matter what happens, remember how I feel, okay?
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[ Mostly about tits, but...
Aki is used to not getting the full explanation, but this??
Hello?? ]
Is this you telling me that you'll choose him?
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(Tsuru. Tsuru is the loser. And suddenly, a change of topic:)
Have you noticed?
The weather is beginning to get cooler. Summer is almost over.
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[ No he doesn't. ]
It's almost been a year since people arrived here, hasn't it?
Autumn is close. I'll be glad for it cooling down.
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But more importantly:
Autumn.
(秋. Autumn. Aki.)
My favorite.
(Autumn is his favorite.
Aki is his favorite.)
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1/2
I also really like the cherry blossoms in the spring, too.
But lately, I've been looking forward to autumn more and more.
(This is some truly some indirect poetic Heian talk. Where everything has a second meaning. There's another conversation beneath this one.)
Just thinking about it makes me excited.
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(He isn't being subtle at all.)
Where are you?
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(Just give him a moment and he'll be there and you know how it goes...............)
@pochita - (pre-kidnapping)
[ literally just that. ]
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besides, it's more of we don't have anything to cook. you know? the restaurants around here will close soon ...
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point= you are
star = a star!
and a hug.
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🫂🫂🫂
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ah, also, make sure to bathe before it gets dark.
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[ wtf. ]
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take someone with you.
[ #doubtsthatswordispowerfulenough. ]
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@NIGHTFALL
[ is this his way of checking in...
maybe. ]
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... November is better than last month though, right?
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damn. ]
I see.
Are you going to your hometown, or did you have other plans? [ does it even exist here?
or was he just the type to offer his respects another way? he doesn't pretend he understands. ]
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You being sloppy isn't my fault.
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So you have no problems grabbing coffee or whatever else instead, right?
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[ he drops a pin to a cafe not too far from the base. ]
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@shiro
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It can't possibly be me already.
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At least, not out loud.
(Thanks, mind glitches.)
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I never said there was a problem.
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Aki would activate his own in return, but he doesn’t want to drown out these warm, tender feelings with the grief and sadness that’s burrowed inside him since waking up here again. There’s the same love too, of course, and he fosters it with all that he has.
He would, though, if Tsuru asked. ]
No. I think it’s the opposite of a problem.
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I'll come find you.
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Yes, Aki?
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I like you, too.
(No, he loves him.)
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>action
He runs straight at him and jumps. )
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Hello, Tsuru.
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I told you I would find you.
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[ Aki doesn't let him drop down; he leans him against the wall instead, holding on to him so he can kiss him gently. ]
Good job.
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Mhm.
(He hums into him, proud and pleased to be praised. He even gives Aki a little tug closer, nipping gently at his lip, offering a little more in turn before pulling away, still close so their noses brush together,)
Happy birthday.
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He has to force himself to be good, at least for now. ]
Thank you.
[ Another year older. Not that it matters.
Sighing, he steps back and lets Tsuru slide down. ]
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Even when he gets down, he doesn't let go, keeping his arms around him and letting some of his weight hang from him,)
Today is a special day. Not just for you, you know.
(And its only now that the lets go and he rummages thru the sleeve of his haori for a second to pull out......... a box of regular chocolate pocky.)
Do you know what these are?
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[ Aki is still leaning into him, unwilling to move or go too far, too content and happy. ]
I've heard these ones are dangerous, though.
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(If anything, he sounds excited? Opening the pack, he takes one stick out... and holds it between his teeth. Fangs still sharp, he smiles playfully at Aki and raises his chin, the other end of the stick pointing at him. It's the pocky game. He wants to play.)
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Out here?
[ But - hey. He's leaning in to play the game, because it's Tsuru and he can't say no. ]
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It's one game.
(And he takes the first bite, closer, closer.)
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Just one.
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His ring, still on, may feel light, playful... like an exciting new crush, like falling in love again. He's still so charmed even after all of these months and when he pulls away, he's quick to lean in and whisper into Aki's ear,)
Oh no.
(These snacks were dangerous, right? Aki had said so himself. There were plenty of reports to support it. There was nothing about this particular type but why not have some fun,)
I think I want to kiss you again. (It's clear that that he's teasing,) Maybe these are dangerous.
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I did try to warn you.
[ A little kiss to Tsuru's nose, and then Aki is reaching for his hands. ]
Let's go to our room.
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You did.
(And he'd chosen not to listen. Of course, he'd also known this particular box was also harmless. It's all fun and games right now and he laces his fingers with Aki, giving his hand a squeeze as he slides over to be by his side.
He's an old soul but right now, one wouldn't know it. Leaning against him, giggling as he tugs him along towards his room-- to their room. Compared to before where they'd hidden away and stayed quiet while exchanging kisses, he doesn't mind as much if others see him right now. It's no secret that they're a pair, just like it isn't a secret that Aki spends more time in the Everlight wing than his own.)
When Denji-kun is free, we'll show you what we got.
(It's their combined surprise for him. A little lower, only for him to hear,)
But I can give you a small surprise first. (And he leans into him, not caring if they stumble just a little down the hallway,) What do you think it is? I'll let you have one guess.
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Together, he and Tsurumaru can be happy.
Resisting the urge to laugh, he huffs a little, taking Tsuru's hand in his own and squeezing gently. ]
A surprise? [ He hums softly. ] Is it something sweet?
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(He hums, thinking about how to answer this, taking his sweet, time. There's no need to rush. He can take his time. He can enjoy his time.)
Maybe.
(And he gives him a gentle but firm tug,)
That isn't a guess.
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[ Aki lets himself be tugged and moved, thoughtful as he considers it seriously for a moment. ]
Not chocolate, then.
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We still have plenty, you know.
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(He has to switch it up. When they get to their room, the door slides open and he slips off and away to go over to his desk. It looks like he's been shopping recently. There are some small shopping bags and one is even tucked away, hidden under the desk for now but still easy to see. He trusts Aki to not go looking. He wouldn't ruin a surprise like that.)
Sit down.
(He says as he rummages through one of the bags and takes out a gift-wrapped box. He'll come over and sit next to Aki before offering it out to him.)
A small surprise from me.
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[ Aki goes and sits down on the bed, doing as he's told, leaning back a little and watching with a raised brow and a certain edge of fondness. It feels warm, it feels nice, being here with Tsurumaru, and all he wants to do is wrap around him and not let go.
He can be patient, though.
Eyes widening at the present, he takes it carefully, fingers brushing over the wrapping. ]
Tsuru...
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(A playful, gentle correction. He likes Aki, even if he's boring at times. He doesn't mind if it's a little boring if he's with him.)
I went shopping with Denji-kun. We got something from both of us and something from each of us.
(A bottle of cologne that Denji will surely sneak samples from and then there's the spa ticket that Denji got. But those are both for later. Right now, there's this box for Aki and if he opens it...
It's just a mug. Dark blue and silver in color with a little bit of weight to it. The box reads that it's a sleek and light design for a mug that will keep drinks at the desired temperature of the user. Hot drinks will never go cold and even cold drinks will never melt. It supposedly links with their implants and it promises to be easy to use. No cords, no extra extensions, no need for charging. It just works. The future is filled with these little knick-knacks for daily use. )
It's getting colder these days; especially in the mornings.
(It seemed like a good gift. A practical one. One that could be useful for Aki.)
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[ Aki opens the gift and he's... Struck by the simplicity of it, his fingers reaching out to stroke over the shape of it, the familiarity of a good vessel for his coffee.
He doesn't have a lot of vices, not really. There aren't a lot of things that get Aki in particular, but a good cup of coffee is one of them. He had a proper press back in his apartment, had a set-up for a good cup in the morning as he had his first smoke of the day and read the newspaper, keeping up to date with the movements of devils (and one in particular).
It's such a simple gift. Other people might find it insulting, to be given something so... Boring.
But for Aki, it's perfect.
Leaning in, unable to stop himself, he presses his mouth against Tsurumaru's and kisses him, long, deep, arm around him, squeezing him closer, breathless with his affection. ]
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How would he smile? What would he say? How would he look at him when he looks back up? He wants to see it all and with his ring still on, Aki can probably feel the anticipation... just like he can feel that spike in emotion when Aki takes him. He's surprised, he's excited, and in a second, he's relaxed, he's happy, he's humming pleasantly, tasting, feeling, giving, and impatiently wanting more and more.
For a second he's proud, so incredibly pleased with his choice in gift but it's more than that. He's happy with him. Aki chose him. He chose Aki. They chose this and he couldn't be happier. He feels warm, he feels content, and when they finally pull away, he takes his breath and smiles at Aki, eyes bright, teeth a little sharp...)
Wait...
(Wait a moment. Just a second. As he pulls his legs up onto the bed to crawl to the end, to reach over towards his desk and rummage for something small and shiney. When he comes back, he sits cross legged in front of Aki and holds up a small container, it's clear plastic covering revealing a shade of red. Considering he'd once set Aki a picture of himself wearing a different shade, it's obvious that it's a lip tint.)
What do you think? (He holds it up to his face, pale and fair against a splash of bright, deep red, ) Denji-kun ran away when I asked.
(Took one look at him in the store and ran off, refusing to answer. While he waits for an answer, he twists the cap and brushes it across his lips. Bright and striking, like the crown of a white crane. He smiles.)
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He hopes that he could do something like this.
It's simple, it's easy, and it means so much. It shows how much attention Tsurumaru has paid to him, that even something as simple as his morning habits had been noted and made to be recognised. Carefully, he places the mug to one side and reaches to draw his lover closer, to tug him onto his lap as much as he can, to hold him tenderly, sweetly, softly. ]
Denji is an idiot, sometimes.
[ Aki kisses him again, soft and gentle, before he touches their foreheads together and closes his eyes.
His birthday had been a nightmare for the last decade, but here, now... It feels okay. ]
It's perfect, Tsuru. Thank you.
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I told you, he's seriously surprising.
(Denji, that is. He's sharper than he or anyone really gives him credit for when it comes to certain matters.
But he shifts forward, gently pushing Aki back onto the bed and supporting himself on top.)
We have a little time. (He isn't sure how much they have until they have to busy themselves with other things but he knows they have some time right now. Leaning in to bury his face against his neck, press light kisses along the side, leaving a visible trail in his wake, ) Relax.
(Reaching to take his hand, locking their fingers together,,)
It's your birthday.
(A day for celebrating Aki. A day for celebrating his life. A day for celebrating being alive.)
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That's a good thing, isn't it?
[ It's his birthday, that's true enough, and Aki leans back, lets himself be guided, nudged, one way and then the other, eyes blinking warmly up at the other man, his lips curled into a small smile. ]
Did you have something in particular in mind...?
[ Eyes warm, tender, Aki grins. ]
I'm at your mercy.
🎁 delivery, 12/25
and thus, when the date rolls on over to christmas day, a small box will appear in aki's doorstep. inside is a rather fancy cigarette brand.
Think you might like this. Happy holidays.
- Ishmael ]
gift 🎄
aki will find his gift waiting for him by the door. the package was rectangular, its edges crisp, its surface smooth— revealing just enough to suggest the shape of the frame beneath the wrapping. at first sight, it seems it came without a picture, but once he lifts it up, the edges shift subtly, lines emerging and retreating in delicate patterns, like a living blueprint. a picture that could move and breathe, adapting itself to its surroundings. it's power and denji and of course aki - all of them together, enjoying a late dinner in their old apartment. the animation is fluid, their features are on point. it's them. together again.
the card reads: I know we've grown in here, made friends and connections, started dating some hotties, maybe we made a new family for ourselves too. But you two will always be my first family. merry xmas - denji. ]
25th December
There is a message with the gift, written on a Christmas postcard: ]
Dear Aki,
I hope those chocolates are a delicacy you will be able to share with your beloved during this winter.
Merry Christmas!
-- Ereshkigal, Goddess of Death and Queen of Kûr
a few days after the end of the mission and before the 20th of april
aki.
19 april, 9 pm.
dining area.
come!
and dress like a superhero.
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someone you look up to.
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Fine, you can pick for me.
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you're supposed to think about your fav hero! this is the fun part of this.
come on. haven't you watched a cool movie or something?
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ok, we've been here for a year-
you don't find anyone around you worthy of the hero title?
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I suppose there are some people. Wouldn't it be strange to dress as someone we know?
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nah.
i think it will mean a lot to them.
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don't be late!
13 May
However, Aki will then feel nothing.
Tsurumaru will not respond to his messages and he will not return to him that day.)
un: typhoon.
Where are you? I need to talk to you.
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[ He felt something - his ring - and now he feels... Sick. ]
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It's Tsurumaru.
We were delivering flowers and then all of a sudden there was a rift.
It swallowed him up, and I can't find him. I'm looking, Aki. I'm trying to. But I know he's your partner, right? And I didn't know who else to tell.
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Hang on, I'll drop you the location. I'm still there, I've been looking.
( Pinning it on the map as he speaks. )
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Nothing. ]
Did he say anything?
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It opened up underneath him and there wasn't any time to move.
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It closed pretty quickly, so it was after something.
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It was really quick. We were talking and then he was just gone.
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And I'm sorry, but we'll get him back, I promise.